Multitaskers

Several years ago, back before I met W., I saw this bath brush on sale at Bath and Body Works while searching for a rubber ducky. I figured, you can't go wrong for $7. I bought it solely for the purpose of washing my back. Well, and also, as it turns out, as a back scratcher. No, really! Okay, I did have spanking in mind, just a little bit, but since I didn't have someone to spank me, it was mostly a vague fantasy.

Since meeting W. it has, of course, been tested out for spanking purposes. The back side is pretty noisy, but I think W. likes it anyways because she gets, um, a lot of bang for her buck. And the bristle side is shockingly wicked, yet pretty quiet. So the bath brush often ends up in the bedroom instead of beside the tub where it belongs.

More recently, we've gotten some kitchen-related multitaskers.
I saw the red item on the top for sale at Whole Foods. It is called, I kid you not, "The Switchit." It's a narrow silicone spatula with a metal core. The wide end has a pleasant sting and the narrow end hurts like holy heck. I admit, between the bright red color and the name, I bought this one primarily for spanking, although it's seen some use in the kitchen as well.

That wooden spoon is a different story. I've been on a quest for a wooden spoon that doesn't hurt... my hands, while I am mixing things in the kitchen. I bought this spoon, since OXO products are generally pretty good about being ergonomic. However, when mixing a stiff dough, this one tends to bite into my hands a bit more than I like. So once I'd gotten another spoon that I like a bit better, I tossed this one into the toy cupboard.

I brought it out last night as W. was mourning her hairbrush that cracked last week during a vigorous (but strangely unpainful to me) spanking. (I guess those drugstore hairbrushes with the little spiky things simply are not meant to be spanking tools!)

Oh. My. Goodness!!! First, the spoon is incredibly quiet for a flat wooden implement. Second, W. was delighting in the marks it leaves--a white spoon outline, followed in short order by a bright red oval. But third--that thing hurts like crazy, and leaves a lasting burn.

W. likes the control she has over it (no catching herself on the hand, as has been known to happen with the evil "loopy toy"). I like the fact that, also unlike the evil loopy thing, the spoon can be used at varying levels of intensity.

So there we have it: three great, inexpensive spanking toys that also have uses outside of the bedroom.

Name That "Toy"

Miracle of miracles, our digital camera decided to start working again, for reasons I cannot discern. So I finally got a chance to take a few pictures, among them some of the so-called “loopy toy.”
Here is the item in question:



I made this because I was reading a description of something similar for sale, and said to myself, “I can make this with under $2 worth of supplies, in under half an hour.” And so I did, although it was closer to 45 minutes if you include the time it took me to go to the 99¢ store.

When I remember to buy duct tape, I’ll post illustrated instructions on how to make it, but basically, you make loops of cord (such as is used to connect speakers to a stereo) and secure them with layers of duct tape. If you’re feeling all creative, you can pad the handle created by the duct tape with some cotton fabric.

W. has dubbed it “the loopy toy.” But calling this a toy is, to me, a misnomer (a word which here means “utterly misleading name for something that makes my butt HURT!!”). It is possible, marginally, to use this in a way that doesn’t create instant, stinging, uncomfortable pain; it’s even possible to give fairly hard strokes that don’t leave welts that sting for several days afterward. But mostly, when used with any force, I feel it for days.

My challenge, should you choose to accept it: come up with another name for this. You can, if you like, make one yourself and experiment with it. I just want to call it something other than “loopy toy,” a name that makes me think of pool noodles and Saturday morning cartoons and friendly, fuzzy things. Which this is not.

Vibrating Buttocks Key to Driver Alertness

Someone on a list I'm on posted this link. It's about how a car manufacturer has come up with a way for the driver's seat to vibrate when the driver is apparently inattentive (such as when crossing a lane too slowly, or when about to rear end another car). The article claims that a Japanese carmaker says that all cars will be equipped with this technology by 2010.

I'm sure there is a good spanko application for this: either a vibrating massage to ease pain, or perhaps a more, um, targeted vibration to keep people behaving correctly.

Piled Higher and Deeper

I can't remember where I got the link to this comic. If you make the title into an acronym, you'll know what it refers to. Yup, PhD students. Anyhow, I thought that this comic was particularly a propos for my situation. It's the one good thing about being off campus--on days when my wife is at work, there's no one to procrastinate with . Ah well.

What's for dessert?

I'm cranky this evening, although I don't quite know why. So I am coping by removing my cranky self to my study, and writing some, and reading some email, and surfing the web.

Can't remember the site that had the little link to Jane's Guide, but I was browsing through its recommendations, and guess what I found? What's Your Pleasure? Lesbian spanking stories, my very favorite! Yummm!

Temptation Blocker?

Someone on an email list I read posted a link to this site. It bills itself as a "temptation blocker," basically restricting your access to programs for a specified period of time. I haven't tried it, because, well... ack! How on earth could I work without checking my email, reading blogs, playing solitaire, surfing the web....? {{Shudder}}

Cryptoquizzes

I like to do word puzzles—they’re a fun way to pass the time when I’m sitting around waiting for something, and they’re a good way to wind down before I go to sleep. They’re also a prime procrastination activity.

And in the interest of helping out fellow procrastinators who are also spankos, I thought I’d offer a few “Cryptoquizzes.” (Also known as “Crypto-clans” and other things, depending on the brand of puzzle magazine you bought) These are lists of words, for which all of the words in the list use the same code. For instance, G might stand for M in all of the words in a particular list. The code is different for each set of words, of course!

Spanking Implements

JKLLDP
EPDY
IKZP
NKSOEOMAN
CVVLPZ AJVVZ
NKZL
ACSYIN
AYOKJ

Adjectives

WQKT WGZZGDTR
LZKOHTR
KTR IGZ
KTHTFZQFZ
WKQZZM
GCTK ZIT AFTT
KTUKTZYXS
HXFOLITR

Things People Say

YCHG TBCQ
HTK JT APQG!
NXII GTMH VTXQ NPHKJ
TXFA!
JKPV OH NTJOKOTH
KAPHU VTX DPV O APBC PHTKACQ?
FTXHK KAC JKQTUCJ
APQGCQ NICPJC!

Note: the code for the first set was random, but I used a certain logic for the second two sets. Extra points to those who can figure out how I decided to switch the letters!

I’ll give y’all a while to figure out the answers, and then I’ll post the solution.