someone over at this thing we do forum referred to their establishing authority spankings as "TEA parties" (To Establish Authority) and w liked this, so she took the idea for herself.
anyhow, i haven't posted in quite a while, and i thought i would just copy what i wrote as the follow-up to our weekly "TEA party" and post it here as well.
i guess it has been almost two weeks since the last ea. but i have done pretty well these past two weeks and not broken any rules or anything. i have eaten my meals even when i was super stressed out and when it was hard to figure out food, and i didn't get attitude even when i was feeling overwhelmed. i have really pretty much followed my rules.
so i guess i was feeling a little resentful about having ea, since i seem to be doing pretty well without it. but i didn't say much about that to w, since i know she would add a punishment on for saying that i thought we could just keep on skipping it. because it is her decision and she isn't going to let me weasel any more. and i guess it is right for her to do that, and it's what i need, it's just that i don't FEEL like it's what i need right now because i have been really GOOD.
it wasn't that big of a spanking but it was bigger than what they used to be if i hadn't broken any rules. it was 7 minutes in the corner, followed with 50 with the strap. she let me out of getting the cane because i've been doing so well. it felt like a really hard spanking, and i said something about that during it, but then the last five, she showed me how hard it would have been if i had actually broken any rules, and those last five hurt a LOT more than the ones she had given me before. so i guess i know it wasn't that bad. also, i am able to sit down now just a couple of minutes later, and my bottom is a little sore, but usually after a punishment it hurts to sit down at all.
i guess the thing that w has really been showing me lately is that she is absolutely going to follow through, and she is making the decisions and she is sure of herself. she even did a pretty good job of helping me to get into the right head space, since we spent the morning doing some reorganizing of the living room and stuff where i wasn't in the right frame of mind for EA to be effective. so it was a big help for her to do that.
i do feel a little bit like if i go for a while without breaking any rules, i should get a coupon to get out of an EA spanking, but maybe like that could come once a month... like, if i can go for a month without breaking rules, then i can get out of EA once. that way, i would feel like i got a reward for following the rules for a long time. and if i could go for TWO months without breaking rules, then i could get a coupon to get out of EA once AND a coupon to get out of a punishment once. like a get out of jail free card or something. and more rewards if i ever manage to go for three or four months without breaking a rule.
i am pretty proud of myself for not having broken any rules, but i guess it feels a little unfair to still get EA if i have done so well. i suppose w will say something like not having one last week, or right after we got home, is the same as getting a week free. i suppose that is true, but it doesn't feel that way if you are the person who is getting the spanking.
3 comments:
You have my sympathies. My Husband started up maintenance spankings again, similar to your ea, about two weeks ago, and I don't think they are stopping any time soon.
One thing that helps me through them, instead of becoming focused on 'but I was gooodddd!' is that he gives me something he wants me to think about each time, and, he reminds me that this is a sample of what I'd expect if I broke that rule or messed up.
I do wish you luck,
Angie
thanks. :)
the basic formula for our "TEA parties" is that they are for the purpose of establishing w's authority, which works pretty well as a reason. it's just sometimes a challenge for me to submit to it.
that said, i KNOW i feel more secure when she is consistent and firm. i might not *like* it, but i know in the long run it's what i need.
We've never done maintenance spankings, but I kinda wish we would sometimes. But I know if we did, I'd have moments like this when I really didn't want a spanking, especially if I'd been GOOD. What does W think about the coupon idea? I wonder if S would go for it. Probably not for getting out of a punishment, but I bet, in your case, to use on a maintenance, that would be fair. Though I'd probably make it a rule that you had to have NOT earned any spankings that week as well, to be able to USE the coupon. I'm mean like that, though. ;P
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