08 October, 2009


i'm trying to quit smoking. well, it started out as me trying to quit smoking and quickly giving up on it, and then w stepping in. in the long run, it's a good thing, since i know i'm not gonna manage on my own. but in the meanwhile, she says that i'll be getting 50 with the bath brush for every cigarette i bum from someone else, and 50 with the *cane* for every cigarette that i pay for. (yes folks, that means if i bought and smoked a pack, i'd be getting 1000 with the cane.)

part of me thinks she can't possibly be serious. but knowing how much she hates smoking, and knowing that she's gotten better at follow through, i'm nervous.

so i decided to try downloading a quit smoking hypnosis thing. i've heard for years that people with DID are really good at self-hypnosis, but i hadn't thought i'd ever done it. but as i listened to the tape, getting really irritated with the guy, and it finally got to the quit smoking part (as opposed to the annoying beach thing, where i could only imagine being aggravated by glare and sand and bugs, instead of feeling relaxed!)

anyhow, it got to the quit smoking part, and i realized that hypnosis is basically repeating something over and over until your subconscious believes it and acts on it. and i was like, "that?! that's all self-hypnosis is?? well, i do *that* all the time!!"

it's how i make sure i wake up on time, if i haven't gotten to bed as early as i should and i need to be up. i just repeat over and over "wake up well-rested in 5 hours" (or however many hours). and while it doesn't substitute for actually getting enough sleep, i really do wake up fairly well rested right at the time i tell myself to.

so i guess i should try something like that, and something to cope with the many stressful situations that i now cope with by smoking. but dang, it would be easier to just keep smoking.


Rose said...

Quitting is worth the effort. Good for you for making such a good choice for yourself. I'm proud of you.

And yeesh... 1000 with the cane? W must be getting more comfortable as a disciplinarian, AND she must really hate smoking. I wouldn't risk it. It's better to quit.

By the way, I'm still around, and I'm still listening. Just having a difficult time in RL right now, and as always, I tend to withdraw into my own little world. But I am still here.

Nic said...

Hey J, I think it's awesome that you're tackling such a challenge, and wow, I don't know if I hope for your sake that W isn't serious, or if I hope for your sake that she IS.

I help ppl stop smoking for a living so if you want any tips or anything, feel free to hit me up.

Best of luck to you! Keep us updated!

Anonymous said...


I hadn't done the math over at ttwd, 1000! She wouldn't. Would she? Wow for an RT, W has taken punishment to a whole other level. Not sure whether to be envious or grateful for my very lenient top! Good luck mate :-)