13 September, 2009

sunday "TEA party"

someone over at this thing we do forum referred to their establishing authority spankings as "TEA parties" (To Establish Authority) and w liked this, so she took the idea for herself.

anyhow, i haven't posted in quite a while, and i thought i would just copy what i wrote as the follow-up to our weekly "TEA party" and post it here as well.

i guess it has been almost two weeks since the last ea. but i have done pretty well these past two weeks and not broken any rules or anything. i have eaten my meals even when i was super stressed out and when it was hard to figure out food, and i didn't get attitude even when i was feeling overwhelmed. i have really pretty much followed my rules.

so i guess i was feeling a little resentful about having ea, since i seem to be doing pretty well without it. but i didn't say much about that to w, since i know she would add a punishment on for saying that i thought we could just keep on skipping it. because it is her decision and she isn't going to let me weasel any more. and i guess it is right for her to do that, and it's what i need, it's just that i don't FEEL like it's what i need right now because i have been really GOOD.

it wasn't that big of a spanking but it was bigger than what they used to be if i hadn't broken any rules. it was 7 minutes in the corner, followed with 50 with the strap. she let me out of getting the cane because i've been doing so well. it felt like a really hard spanking, and i said something about that during it, but then the last five, she showed me how hard it would have been if i had actually broken any rules, and those last five hurt a LOT more than the ones she had given me before. so i guess i know it wasn't that bad. also, i am able to sit down now just a couple of minutes later, and my bottom is a little sore, but usually after a punishment it hurts to sit down at all.

i guess the thing that w has really been showing me lately is that she is absolutely going to follow through, and she is making the decisions and she is sure of herself. she even did a pretty good job of helping me to get into the right head space, since we spent the morning doing some reorganizing of the living room and stuff where i wasn't in the right frame of mind for EA to be effective. so it was a big help for her to do that.

i do feel a little bit like if i go for a while without breaking any rules, i should get a coupon to get out of an EA spanking, but maybe like that could come once a month... like, if i can go for a month without breaking rules, then i can get out of EA once. that way, i would feel like i got a reward for following the rules for a long time. and if i could go for TWO months without breaking rules, then i could get a coupon to get out of EA once AND a coupon to get out of a punishment once. like a get out of jail free card or something. and more rewards if i ever manage to go for three or four months without breaking a rule.

i am pretty proud of myself for not having broken any rules, but i guess it feels a little unfair to still get EA if i have done so well. i suppose w will say something like not having one last week, or right after we got home, is the same as getting a week free. i suppose that is true, but it doesn't feel that way if you are the person who is getting the spanking.


Angie said...

You have my sympathies. My Husband started up maintenance spankings again, similar to your ea, about two weeks ago, and I don't think they are stopping any time soon.

One thing that helps me through them, instead of becoming focused on 'but I was gooodddd!' is that he gives me something he wants me to think about each time, and, he reminds me that this is a sample of what I'd expect if I broke that rule or messed up.

I do wish you luck,

Jigsaw Analogy said...

thanks. :)

the basic formula for our "TEA parties" is that they are for the purpose of establishing w's authority, which works pretty well as a reason. it's just sometimes a challenge for me to submit to it.

that said, i KNOW i feel more secure when she is consistent and firm. i might not *like* it, but i know in the long run it's what i need.

Nic said...

We've never done maintenance spankings, but I kinda wish we would sometimes. But I know if we did, I'd have moments like this when I really didn't want a spanking, especially if I'd been GOOD. What does W think about the coupon idea? I wonder if S would go for it. Probably not for getting out of a punishment, but I bet, in your case, to use on a maintenance, that would be fair. Though I'd probably make it a rule that you had to have NOT earned any spankings that week as well, to be able to USE the coupon. I'm mean like that, though. ;P